Intention

I lost my best friend, I sure did, she told me,

I understood what she said,

But I was still thinking why, How did that happen?

I was surely in shock, OH MY LORD! I don’t want to believe what I am listening to,

NO RIZWAN, WE CAN NO LONGER BE FRIENDS, just like someone is hammering in my head with a big sledge hammer,

YOU BETRAYED ME,

No I didn’t, ,

YES YOU DID, YOU BROKE MY TRUST

Trust me I didn’t,

And it went on, after a while she cried….my best friend, for whom I always cared, I went out of my way to help her out with every thing, her exams, her life, her disappointments, set backs, helped her get motivated for her goals in life, helped her achieve her goals, I did everything I could, sometimes even more then that and here I am making her cry

SORRY, I CAN’T BE YOUR FRIEND NO MORE

Amazing

I didn’t even know how to feel

What to say

In fact what to think, or ………it was a blank

And that blank turned into black and started making my life BLACK

How it all started

We were very nice friends for more then four years

Sharing almost every good and bad in life

Living trials and tribulations of life together

She didn’t know I was interested or in love with her best friend

She knew we (me and her friend) were best friends, but didn’t know I liked her

She was close to me

Shared almost all her troubles with me

Helped me out emotionally whenever I needed it

It was a nice friendship

One day I said to her I want to kiss you

She said why

I said I just feel like kissing you at least once in my life

And she said no

But after sometime, I mean after few days

She said she was ready to do it, but she would never meet me again after that

Tough one…..

After few months when we met, she offered me her hand to kiss

Without any condition

I didn’t

I couldn’t

I wanted her to be pure

I wanted me to be pure for my love

I didn’t do it

It finished there

But I believe the feelings in her remained

Now as I told her that my love said no to me

Out of curiosity she asked who she is

I told her that it was her best friend

And she was shocked

Other day when I was talking to her, she told me

That I used her to get close to her best friend

I used her all 4 years

I was shocked

I betrayed her, she told me

And I was left with no words

RIZWAN, WE CAN NOT BE FRIENDS ANY MORE

And that was it.

My intention was pure, my behavior was not, I respected her, I still do, she has been one of my best friends, I trust her, I love her, but I WAS WRONG at the end of the day, I lost a treasured friendship that took more then 4 years to develop, less then a phone call to collapse

Isn’t it a sad truth of our life, whenever we do something, we judge our selves by our intention, if I wanted to do something with good intention, and it turned out bad, at least I was trying to do something good, we console our selves, the gauge is our intention, the reason or feeling behind, but what we fail to realize is that other people judge us only by our behavior, they don’t know what was the underlying intention behind what we did, and they don’t care, since their gauge is behavior, in their court, the only evidence is behavior and intention doesn’t even count.

I still remember that party, it was my cousins wedding, we were having a party night before the big day, every one was having fun, Son of my cousin sister, was serving water, and drinks to every one, he was just five year old at that time, so he was serving one glass at a time, and I was watching his spirit of service, he was certainly enjoying what he was doing, it was fun for him, this time he was going towards the groom, with a glass of drink in his hand and since he was so much engrossed in his work, he failed to see the bunch of video wires on the floor, as he walked on those wires, his foot got stuck in one, he got dis-balanced and the drink was all over the grooms expensive attire. He was truly shocked by whatever happened, but so was every one else, he could feel so many red eyes looking towards him, he wanted to hide somewhere but he found himself in the middle of every one, he didn’t even had a clue what to do, I could see his wet eyes, every one was upset with him thru ought the party and even the next day, he was not allowed to do any work, or any help, every one was angry at him, when I talked to him, he said, I just wanted to give DULHA BHAI (groom) the drink, it was not my fault the wires came in, but all I found my self saying to him, that it was ok, and don’t worry, he was judging himself by his intention, but failed to realize that every one else was watching his behavior, The thing that hit him the hardest was when he was left out of the small outing for children of the family when every one else went of course sponsored by the groom………….must have been so much pain for him, in his thinking, he paid the price of being nice, other kids who didn’t do a single work, were busy playing all the time, were taken on outing and had all the fun, while he, who took the pains, did do work and helped out was left out,

Strange world, we judge our selves by intentions but others by behaviors, different standards, we don’t even want to know why someone did what he or she did. Was it even their fault, just their behavior matters, my best friend, she just said, IN THE END YOU HURT ME, my behavior, failed to realize that I never ever even thought about hurting her, in the end she ended up in pain her self

And made me end in the pain too

The friend I loved and wanted to marry was undecided

But when she would hear from her best friend

She made would make her decision

On this basis and probably say NO to me

And here am I, still trying to understand

When on earth did I use my friend?

Where on earth was I wrong?

Why me?

Just like that little kid

I was standing right in the middle of no where

Didn’t even know what to do

Ended up blaming and hating my self…

If and only if we try to understand the underlying intention, show empathy, and care and understanding, life would be so much more different, You call it focus, paradigm or point of view, I call it standard, the gauge, by which we judge ourselves and the world, and if somehow we could unify the gauge and gauge ourselves by the same standard that we use for others or vice versa, life could be much more beautiful and easy of course.

When I give you 4 lbs of milk but since there is a hole in the standard gauge we are using, you only get 3 lbs, I am happy that I gave your four; you are unsatisfied at getting only three, but when I talk to myself, I would say that I gave you four, I didn’t know about the hole, but I didn’t cheat you, and there you are feeling betrayed and cheated, and that so very rightly, what’s that hole in our life, that’s the gap between intention and behavior, and the size of this gap differs from person to person.

The key as some suggest is to go ahead and try to step into other person’s shoes, see the things from his/her point of view, feel it his way, listen to his/her side of the story, but are we willing to do that, are we ready to step in someone else’s shoes, or would just end up saying that “at least I thought about it” again leaving a infinite gap between intention and behavior, where we never act to what we intend, are we fooling ourselves or everyone else around us, in fact, does that really matter.

So should we start judging the people by there intention or their behavior, what about judging ourselves, are we going to use the same gauge, do we know which one is better, and which one to go for……..or do you have any clue what I am talking about……

IF YOU WERE GOD, WHAT GUAGE YOU WOULD USE TO DECIDE SOMEONE’S FATE,

His/Her INTENTION

OR

His/Her BEHAVIOR…

The answer lies within you, look inside!

Creation

Well the announcement caught them by surprise, they were not expecting it at all, but yeah it indeed arose their curiosity about it, what its going to be. It was actually an announcement made by the holy Lord early in the day that today he is planning to make something special, rather something very special. He is the lord of creations, He is the creator and He doest create all the time, but the thing that caught every one by surprise was the 2nd part of the announcement where all the creations were asked to assemble in the grand arena to take part in the process of creation. No one, not a single creation was ever allowed to be creator, it was only God who always did the work of creation.

Well as the day passed, the level of curiosity kept going up for every creation, slowly and gradually the crowd started assembling in the arena, the angles were the first ones to enter, then every one started coming in one by one and soon there was a huge crowd gathered, flowers, rock, sand, earth, sun, moon, sea, river, heat, light, lions, all kinds of vegetables, fruits, animals and all kinds of species of birds, nevertheless each and every creation was present, all praising God in its own way.

It was altogether a unique atmosphere, all the creations, praising god, such a peaceful atmosphere, such a silence, all eyes were closed, all lips were moving, every one was praying in its own way, and then suddenly it was all showered in divine light, the lord was there, all eyes tried to have a glimpse but they couldn’t see beyond a certain limit. All hearts started beating faster, no doubt the lord was present amongst them, all eyes were down, and every one was doing nothing put praying, though all minds were running at terminal velocity thinking about what that special thing could be, there were thousands of questions but not a single one was able to reach an answer.

“Today I am going to create something special which is going to be simple yet unique” the divine voice got every ones attention, “I want you all to come forward and add a quality you believe is the best in you”. All mind started the marathon yet again to come up with the best one they have, The angel Gabriel came forward first, I am made of fire, I would like this creation to have fire in it, the fire to win, the burning fire inside so it doesn’t have to sit back, the fire would help it keep moving and achieve all its goals, the other creations were still thinking. The sea came up with depth. The lord then said to the sea, I will add the depth to its eyes so when any one sees her they will know how deep it is. Sun added the light and glow, while moon came up with its calmness. One by one they all came forward, the rose came with its beauty and aroma, earth came with a big heart to add to the creation. To every ones surprise the clouds came up with tears, when asked it said “This creation should have tears so it doesn’t have to keep every thing in the heart and could wipe off the sad things with the tears”, they all seemed to agree.

The Rock came up with strength and the water came with liveliness and thirst to be the best, the rainbow came up with the glow, the diamond came up with its brilliance, the river said it would add the flow to this creation, every one was adding yet a new quality to this creation and they were all very happy to be the part of this creation, clay came up with the flexibility, the seed said it would add the dream and vision, when asked how, it said, the small seed has big trees and thousands of forest in it, I would like to add this vision to this creation so it knows its true value and never think that it is small so it is worthless, I want to add the value and worth to this creation.

Birds came up with flight, wind came with power, the thunderstorms added the might, the mind stood up and said I would like to compliment what the seed has added, I would like to add the notion that nothing is impossible, I want to add this feeling that every thing is possible if it tries. The trees came up with the quality of giving, we would like this creation to be always giving something to every one without asking any thing in return, like we give shadow and fruits to any one regardless of who he or she it. The oil came with its power to make every thing burn and run , another notion to help others even by burning itself.

Then the devil came in and added some selfishness, but the Lord agreed that if this creation does every thing for every one else it would not be able to do any thing for it self, I want this creation to be the best, though I don’t like devil my self, the lord said, but this is a good quality he has added and I will my self make sure that it has good use for the creation and is not used in bad way, all creations were at calm after the assurance by the lord.

The mother then stood up and said, I would like this creation to have LOVE, as you have given to me, the owl came with the ability to see in the dark, I wish this creature to use the qualities of seed and mind and my ability to see in dark so it never becomes disappointed, it knows that darkness has its own life and meanings too and then the sparrows came up and added faith, we want this creature to have blind faith, as we sing the songs of morning when it is still dark, we have a blind faith that the morning is going to arrive soon, we want this creature to have blind faith on you, that no matter what, you are always there to help. The camel ad donkey stood up, all were wondering what these creatures have to add. They said we want this creature to have strength to lift the burden, so it doesn’t have problems when it has too much burden on it.

The father came up with care, the language with expressions, the fun came up with smiles to add, the sugar added its sweetness and the salt also added a little of its taste. And it just went on and on. Each and every creation was adding some thing unique, some thing they believe to be the best quality they possessed. When every one was finished, they asked what are you going to make this creation to be, The lord responded, I will make it a human, since them I call the Best of the creations “Ashraf-ul-makhluqaat”(BEST OF ALL CREATIONS) , so this creation has to be a human being, possessing all the strength, love, depth, character, care, peace, aroma, brilliance and every thing else you added. but what are you going to add to it, the question was their in every ones mind and the lord scanned all the thoughts, “I know you are curious about it., I will add the divinity, THE SOUL, The part that will keep this creation attached to me and in toug times and challenges when it gets lost or astray, it will help this creation get connected to me.

As they were all listning, they suddenly could saw a big screen like thing in the air………..it was kind of a movie or something. ……And suddenly they realized it was a small room, few people in white dress were they’re surrounding some thing, and then they realized it was a lady, it didn’t take them much time to realize that lady was giving birth “Owwwwwwwwwaaaaaaain. Owaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin” dn the view focused on that new born, a bright illuming face, the lord said I added my glory to this creation to make it the BEST………….

The parents called her ________ and the date on the calendar behind showed ----,--,19--.

The prayers and praise of the lord continued...

It's true for all creations, including you and me, Are we a living example of all those qualities? Are we. . .

Nothing

Who are you?
The question came directly pointed towards me,
Who are you?
Who? , me, I am rizwan,
I didn’t ask you name, I asked who are you.
Perplexed,
I am rizwan, I told you,
Hey man I m not asking your name, you will not be a different person if you change your name, you will remain the very same person.
What should I reply, do I have another identity, my mind went running,
“I am Mr. Bhimani’s Son”,
I didn’t ask you about your father, I asked you who are YOU, don’t you understand a simple question.
I am me,
I was a little frustrated by then
But who’s that “me”
“Me” means “I” and “I” means “me”
Ok so one thing is for sure, you yourself don’t know who you are; ok tell me what are you?
Why am I being asked these questions? What is this conversation up to...?
I am a businessman and a writer and a motivational trainer
I didn’t ask your profession or what you do, I asked what you are
I tried to act little smart “I am a human being”
So is every one else around you, what’s your uniqueness,
My Body, My face
But those are the things you have, like your name, you have a body and you have a face, just like you have the name, but you are not those things
Ok then what about my mind
Again you have a mind; you are not your mind,
What about my thoughts
Your mind generates thoughts for you, you feel that they are yours, in fact they are not, at least not at this moment
Are you challenging my intelligence, I have a very high IQ
So you mean to say you are intelligent
I sure am
Ok let’s test it right now
And I became mentally prepared
What’s the most important part of any conversation?
Hmm, voice, words or people…………which one should I choose, without words, there is no conversation, without people, words loose their value and without voice words cant exist, this is a tricky one.
Ok it’s the words, the language, without which there would not be any conversation
Excellent my friend
You sure have a very high IQ,
But it’s according to your own standards, and I don’t agree with your standards.
Now listen and tell me if I am right
The most important part of a conversation is SILENCE
And I remembered about silent conversations some people have but in most conversations, Silence, how can that be important
Without silence, there would be no conversation
There would not be even a single sentence
It’s the most important part of every conversation on earth, every thing word, said or recited
Silence is nothing, but it just IS, without it, there would be nothing else,
Words come from silence and they die back in there
Just imagine, if there were no pauses in the conversation
How would that feel?
Would you be able to understand any thing or sentence with your highest possible IQ?
It’s the silence that allows words to be, without which there would be no word.
Ok here is another one
What’s the most important part of this universe?
This time my mind was trying numerous possibilities
I came up with water, its life.
No my friend, its space, the emptiness
Just like words come from silence and go back in silence
Things come from space and vanish in space, but the space stays
How, I asked
Look my friend, every heavenly body is in the space, if there was none of them present, Space will still be there, even time would not exist without space, there would be no existence, space just is, its nothing but contains every thing.

Just like words come and they die, but silence is eternal part of life, its nothing but without it there would be nothing else. Even being nothing, it’s the reason for every existence. Just like space, when you look at the sky, you see sun moon and other planets, but you never see the space that holds them.
I couldn’t agree more
It was a total different perspective
What you see comes from what you do not see and what you do not see in nothing, so every thing comes from nothing and we are all part of nothing
But I have my own identity
Go ask the fish and it will tell you I am part of the sea, without the sea, I am nothing
And go ask the sea and it will tell you that without the earth I am just nothing, I won’t exist without earth
And then go ask earth and it will tell you that it exists because of this solar system
And solar system will lead you to our galaxy, milky way, with millions of stars, which will in turn lead you to millions of other galaxies……..and in the end its all part of the larger space that you actually call Nothing.
I didn’t have a word to say
If every thing has an end to nothing, how can you have your own identity, just because you have a fancy name, and some thoughts and body and a mind, it means you are something.
Yes I am
Ok tell me why you call yourself American, Indian or Australian
Because I am
No you call your self that since you are a part of it
You call your self American because you are part of America, or you call yourself African because you are a part of Africa, similarly you call yourself human because you are a part of humanity, so in much larger sense, when you know you are part of nothing, why you are ashamed to accept the fact and always ready to prove otherwise
Just give my one reason why?
When you know nothing begets every thing, why you want to loose everything in order just to get a little something
Why you inflate your egos so very much that you can’t see the nothing but other then your self, you don’t see nothing else either
When, even the student says, I know nothing, that starts the first day of this learning
I am talking to you, what you are thinking
Nothing………………..in fact everything…
Ahaaan, you are a quick learner
So tell me now, who are you
Nothing
And what are you
Nothing
What makes you special?
Nothing
Good.
Nothing contains everything, it’s the very reason of existence, we all are part of nothing, yet most of us are restless to become something, we spend our whole lives just to be something, or at least be a part of something, when in reality there is nothing…
All religions talk about it
Some call it Nirvana, some call it eternal happiness, some call it being divine, some call it a miracle and some call it dying before the death
Once you realize your glass is not empty, it’s full of space; you get your first insight
And once you realize that glass is just a very tiny part of absolutely nothing, you are on your way to peace, there is space inside the glass, but glass itself is part of a larger space. Any ways young man
Good luck on your journey to peace……
Even if you don’t reach there, you will at least become more humble, good luck once again.
And it all vanished

Rizwan, you were so intensely thinking about something, are you in tension or something, is everything all right
I guess
Tell me what you were thinking
Nothing
Rizwan, I know you were thinking about something
No I am telling you, it was about nothing
You don’t want to tell me
Trust me I was really thinking about nothing
OK keep it to you, don’t tell me but don’t expect any thing from me as well
I swear it was all about nothing
You have gone insane rizwan…
And she left the room, slamming the door.

And then I remembered this quote

“The world is full of insane people; here sane people make no sense”

And what’s the difference between sane and insane, Rizwan
That voice appeared again
And this time it was my turn to smile

NOTHING…I said

And that voice disappeared with these last words…

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a
Butterfly… (Richard Bach)

CTRL ALT DEL

Few days’ back, while I was working on my computer, I don’t know why but it suddenly got stuck, the mouse didn’t work and the keyboard didn’t either. I was just starring at a dead screen. In our lives, relationships & in achievements of our dreams, there are moments when life gets paralyzed, comes at a standstill, just like the computer, one really doesn’t know what to do about it. Since I was totally engrossed in my work, I became totally lost, how did this happen, I didn’t do any thing wrong, I was just doing my work, there must be a virus in the computer, my mind was running wild yet it was at a standstill, but yeah there was one sigh of relief that I did save most of my work. In the standstills of life often there are moments when we are dumb founded, how the hell this happened, who is responsible? Numerous possibilities surround our wild imagination yet we are unable to move even an inch forward from where we start.

At that moment my mind was still stuck in thinking about how this happened, I again tried to unsuccessfully use the mouse and pressed some keys little harder thinking that it might work but nothing seemed to work at that time. “It must be the virus” auto generated reply came form my mind. The reply reminded me of the dialogue between chairs of two project teams who were supposed to coordinate together and turn two small projects into one mega project, something went wrong in the process and the projects halted, I remember both the chairs sat on the opposite ends of the table, trying to find why this happened, the meeting went for two long hours and end or the day, they both were blaming each other for the fault with no result. “Its your fault”, “You are responsible for all this”.

Doesn’t that sound like some thing familiar in our every day life, argument between couples, the discussion between colleagues and counterparts, negotiations between two rival countries, its happening everyday at so many places. How easy it is to shift blame on someone else or something else, and if nothing works then put the blame on fate and God that they are responsible for whatever is happening, it has nothing to do with us. Where are we in all the situation then, are we responsible for any thing or we have taken the sole responsibility is to shift the burden of responsibility on someone else’s shoulder.

There are so many couples that get divorced each year due to communication problem or get separated due to their inability to properly understand each other. It’s quite common for employees to resign from their jobs for not being able to adjust in the uncomfortable work environment. How often a fight starts between rival nations because of a dead lock in dialogues. What we hear from each and every side, person or nation involved, “He is the one who is responsible for our divorce”, the other side says“ I am getting separated because I can no longer tolerate her” “They are responsible for the loss of innocent live” its not the question of who’s right and who’s wrong, The question is who is willing to take the responsibility.

It reminds me of last year, I was traveling to a new town and got lost on my way. As it was a small road I was traveling very slowly, I saw a sign of a U turn near the dead end, as I was driving slowly, I was able to notice somebody’s writing on the U turn sign, It said “God always allows for U turns” so simple yet so deep, while after I took the U turn, I was still thinking how many times in our lives we are ready to take the U turn. I was thinking that would any one ever stop at dead end in the car and just stop it there, I guess never, any one in that situation will try their best to find a alternate way out, then why on earth we allow so many dead ends in our relationships, dreams and lives. Why we seldom think about the U turns that would allow us to go back and start afresh from where we digressed. Why aren’t we ready to rake the U turn in our relationships that could give love of both the separated parents to thousands of kids, Why are nations not ready to take U turn in order to save the lives of thousands of innocent citizens who fight for their country, the only question that is hammering in my mind again and again is WHY NOT?

My little niece who is computer savvy was playing near by, she saw me doing all that with the computer, she came to me and said ‘Press CTRL ALT DEL”. I believe that she knows more about computer then me, I trust her knowledge, therefore without even thinking any thing, I just did what she said and the computer started rebooting again, eventually it re started. When they asked Edison why you are trying still again when u have already tried so many times, he said now I know these many ways not to make a bulb, he didn’t accept the stand still, he would go back in the lab and try another way to make the bulb, if even that didn’t work, he would go for another, Mr. Honda, or any one who has left any significant marks on our lives today, none of them gave up, they all knew their U turns very well and they knew one more principle TAKING RESPONSIBILITY AND NEVER GIVING UP. They always restarted their thinking what tom peters call “Re imagining” a totally new way of thinking where there are no boundaries, they don’t think out of the box, they just burn the box and then restart their thinking in entirely new dimensions and that’s the only reason each one of them is now in the top list of people who have had the highest impacts on our lives today.

Aren’t we all tired of playing the blame game, acting like fools, are we ready to do something constructive, really make some thing happen. Are we ready to press the CRTL ALT DEL in our relationships, in our negotiations, in our dead ends to get a fresh start, Are we ready to Re-start the process, Re-live our dreams, Are we ready to take the U turns, Are we ready not to give up again? Are we ready to achieve our goals? Are we ready to make something happen? As it is wisely said


The best way to make something happen…is… to make it happen


Are we ready?

Journey

My new silver Honda accord LX 2003 is the third car I have owned in less then 15 months, the first one being, Honda accord 99, I had a accident just 15 days after I got it, the 2nd car was Toyota Camry 94, which remained my companion for a year and then died, mission accomplished, Now I have my third companion with me, she is cool and fast

I like to go on long drives with it, just the 2 of us, me and my Honda, we go places we haven’t been before, sometimes we go to the same routes again and again, some times entirely new places. When we are lost, we are still together, so there is no fear of being left alone. It’s always a wonderful adventure driving together.

On the highways there are speed limits, how fast we can drive, but who cares, no matter how fast you are, someone is going to over take you any ways. Most of the time when I drive at 55, the speed limit of Houston highway 59, I feel like driving the slowest car on the highway. Its amazing to see how many vehicles there are on the highway at the same time, different makes, models and colors, all with different originations and destinations but they are all there on the same road at the same time. Every minute few cars are coming up on the highway and at the same time few are taking the exits, towards their destination.

Shakespeare said life is a stage and we all are performers, well for me life is a highway and we all are drivers, any given day so many of us are born and so many take the death exit but any given time so many of us are there with different backgrounds, different races, different colors & shapes each having unique identification (names), speak different languages like all those different model cars with different makes, sizes and colors, we all come and go. But life continues, the highway continues. The journey goes on.

Each car has a different destination; each driver has a different mission, a totally different reason then all the other drivers. And the mission is what decides the route and the map on how to reach that particular destination, then availability of time decides how fast or slow one is going to drive. Each one of us is different with a unique destination, unique goals, strengths and weakness, we all get unique set of opportunities and threats throughout our lives yet we still are together.

A white infinity G35 passed by, the best car of the year, not that expensive, but the best in performance against value. I started noting different makes and models; I could see Lexus, Ford, Toyota, Honda, GM. BMW, VW, Chrysler and the big one H2. They are all so different; each having an entirely different set of features but all performed the same job, transportation, taking us from one place to another. Hmmm, then why on earth each car has a different price tag, some are so much affordable then others. Why? May be because they provide us comfort and luxury during our journey, some are more safer to drive while others are more fun to drive, the set of value in each car determines the price tag the consumer is going to pay on a particular make and model.

Now I am stuck between 2 poles, which one is more important, Journey or destination? If journey were not important why would we all be paying so much more for so much luxury while we can get to the same place cheaper? Why should one fly with continental when he or she can get to the same place via southwest in fraction of the cost? The journey must be important, yeah it must be. But what about destination, isn’t it the destination, for which we take all the pains, the reason we buy these cars or airline tickets, isn’t destination more important…

We all were born, we entered the highway of life, we all have certain goals and destinations in mind and yeah ultimately we all will take the exit of death one day, do we know our destinations, where we are heading towards, where exactly we want to go, what exactly we want to achieve, how can we reach a place if we don’t even know where are we going to and where we want to reach. Unfortunately, that’s the case with many of us, we just live by the road philosophy, we will go wherever it takes us, but the dead ends and road divides create troubles. Sometimes we don’t even know what speed we should go with since we ourselves don’t know how far we have to go, isn’t that awkward.

Other are the times when we know where we are heading and reaching there is the only thing we are concerned about, we zoom with speed but in the process miss all the beauty and adventure during the journey, we fail to notice the pleasure the journey itself has to offer.

Are we driving well and safely, how would we know we have accomplished what we destined to is by reaching that destination but in our lives the prominent question remains

How do you know whether
Your mission on earth is over…

If you are alive…it isn’t.

(Richard Bach)


Are we sure what mission we are on?

The Other Side

While I stand in front of the refrigerator, the first thing I look at is the door. There are so many different kinds of magnets on it, so many different kinds of bills and reminders in front of my eyes; there is so much to look. At this very moment, I am not concerned about what is happening to the rest of the world, the refrigerator door is it self a whole world engulfing my thoughts. Looking at those different magnets and all those things beneath them, these are all I m concerned with right now…thinking about all those bills to pay and reminders about numerous different things, the shopping list, the birthday party of neighbors son, and what not. The reality of my world has changed, Now, these magnets are the center of my thoughts and I am out of the world I was in, a few moments back, and now into reminders, bills and of course magnets.

The phone rings and I move out to receive the call, it’s from a friend who lives in New York, her mother died in a car accident, I forget about all the bills and reminders, in one moment the face of reality changes again, now I am grieved and my thoughts are focused on how to console my friend, the feelings surrounding me are of concern, fear & sympathy. My mind slowly drifts towards life after death, and I start thinking, “Have I done enough to survive?” If there is any thing after death, the religions teach but you never know, its always the question of belief, any ways, I sit on the sofa, open the TV and there is Breaking news of blast somewhere, suicide attack, killing so many innocent people, terrorist or freedom fighters? Who are they? A very thin line depending on the paradigm one is looking at it from.

Suddenly, I realize that few minutes back, the magnets that were important to me are no more present in my thoughts and the reason my mind finds acceptable is because they are no longer in front of me, they are no more part of my reality…. my friends who were so important to me in early parts of my life, are in some other parts of the world right now, since they are not part of my active reality, I have forgotten about them, yeah the ones I used to do my home work with, the ones with whom I used to play, hang out, they are no more important….at least right now.

When I get back in front of the refrigerator door, those magnets again become important, the class reunion again rejuvenates the old memories, and we start from where we left, our lives have been fine tuned that way, what is in front of us is most important, rest of the matters, we keep them aside but never get time to get back to them. When we accidentally or in some other way come across them again, at that time we realize what we missed, like getting back to the refrigerator reminded me that I missed paying my electricity bill and the due date is gone. Ooooooops!

The point is how fast we change our priorities, or are they our real priorities. Are we able to separate urgent from important as Stephen covey preaches or are urgent things taking over the important things in our life OR the urgent things are getting disguised as important leaving the actual important things no attention at all, putting them back beneath the magnets on the refrigerator door.

But that’s just the outside world of the refrigerator; there is a whole new world inside as well. This new world is not open to every one, but only visible to those who take the pains to open the door. But again, not every one is interested in viewing the complete contents inside. Most of us are interested in only what we are looking for, once we find the bear or soda or whatever we are looking for, rest of it becomes irrelevant again. There are very few of us, who are not sure what we are looking for and see through a little more. Rare are the cases where someone reaches out and looks through every thing inside.

We meet so many people every day, Alvin Toffler says we meet more people in a single day then a village farmer used to meet in his life time hundreds of years back, the turbo speed of life and the ease of travel and communications have removed the “im” from the impossible. Of all the people we meet every day, how many doors we open to see what’s inside the person, what actually makes that person, or the outer beauty and looks are enough for us to judge any one. Are we afraid of opening the doors or are we not interested or is it that we don’t care. Whatever the reason be, we actually open very few doors. The ones we open, how much we can claim we know about that person, be it any one, sister, brother, best friend, boss, class fellow, teacher, peon, driver, cook or in fact life partner. With how much certainty can we claim that we completely know this person………more often then not, we just see inside to check does that person has what we are looking for, if yes, good, if no, good bye. Selfish us. I know its really cold standing in front of the open refrigerator door sometimes, looking for what’s all inside but again, there is a price for everything. Are we willing to pay the price?

It’s all about opening the door, if we look carefully, we would surely find so many things inside the refrigerator that would surprise us, some things we were not expecting to be there. These surprises are pleasant as well as non-pleasant ones, but fact of the matter is that surprises open yet another view of possibility in our mind which was not present there before. “Oh wow! Cadburys, I just love them, who bought it, I didn’t know they were here” or “I didn’t know you are so caring, they way you helped me out of this mess, I am so thankful, I am glad I asked you for help” its all the question of opening the door. Sometimes doors are open accidentally or without effort on our part and it makes us go and see what’s more is in there, just out of curiosity. Other times, when we are with someone, talk and care, we actually open that door ourselves, some times the other person leaves the door open for us to see…as they say more you know about someone more you can come close and care, the question still remains the same, Are we willing to open the door?

Stephen covey talks about emotional bank account, that we all carry a emotional bank account with each person we meet and have our relationship with, some times when we do some thing good, we deposit in that account and other times we do some thing bad or say some thing bad, we make a width drawl from it, and the next time we meet we start with the balance we left last time. Refrigerator is a way to keep things fresh even after days, and when we take it out, some things we have chilled and cold, rest we heat up a little in the micro and have it as we put it in there, the emotional account way, nothing changes, we restart where we left from, time sometimes matter but most of the time it doesn’t. Relationships have a unique bonding, that stays even when souls are miles apart, and re grows when the boundaries are abandoned. What ever we leave in the other persons heart and mind stays there, good or bad, doesn’t matter, experts call it subconscious, and when we meet again, FRESH, those memories re-live again and we start from where we left, what kind of memories we leave with the ones we meet…or better way to ask this questions would be “What kind of memories we want to have we MEET AGAIN? What we need to do today in order to have those memories tomorrow, are we willing to do it…there is no such thing as free lunch!

Right now I am sitting in front of the computer, typing all this in the word processor, I m no where near the refrigerator, this quote appears in one of my email messages sent by an unknown sender completely summarizes how I feel right now

“Words are unable to contain feelings and emotions

&

Thoughts are unable to ignore it.”

There is so much more to say…